February arrives loudly on campus. Red flyers take over the timeline, gift vendors flood your DMs, and roses move from hostel to hostel. Valentine aesthetics spill across, and suddenly love feels public, visible, and almost unavoidable.

The Weight of Academic and Social Pressure

Trust me, being a student is already demanding. Lectures, assignments, exams, clinical postings, and deadlines often overlap without warning. Then comes the social layer: attending outings you’re not interested in just to “keep up”, replying to messages when you should be resting, or entering relationships simply because it feels like the norm. At some point, many students quietly ask themselves, If I’m not in a relationship, am I missing out? The real danger isn’t being single. It’s losing yourself while trying to belong.

Romantic pressure and the illusion of Valentine’s love

Valentine’s season has a way of amplifying expectations. Single students may feel invisible, while those in relationships feel pressured to perform affection publicly. Love starts to feel like something that must be displayed to be validated. You hear comments like, “I had to buy something; if not, there would be problems,” or “If I don’t post my partner, people will think we’ve broken up.” That isn’t love. It’s peer pressure dressed in red. Real love doesn’t rush you or demand constant validation (and no, I’m not dating, but the point still stands). It doesn’t make you anxious, small, or afraid of disappointing someone. Healthy love is calm. It respects your pace, honours your boundaries, and leaves room for your individuality instead of erasing it.

Boundaries: Your Quiet Strength

Boundaries are often mistaken for attitude, but they are really an act of self-respect. They show up in simple choices: politely declining late-night hangouts when you need rest, stepping away from conversations that drain you, and clearly communicating what you are and aren’t comfortable with in relationships. One student shared that constantly saying yes just to avoid being left out left them anxious and exhausted. When they began saying no, people respected them more, and their relationships became healthier. Saying no without guilt or long explanations isn’t rude. It’s maturity. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re guidelines that protect your mental, emotional, and physical health.

Redefining Love

Love should never silence you or make you feel unsafe, unsure, or diminished. Any relationship that pressures you to abandon your values, ignore your voice, or compromise your identity isn’t love; it’s control. Healthy love supports growth, allows space, and feels safe rather than stressful. On campus, genuine love may seem rare not because it doesn’t exist, but because it requires intention in an environment driven by comparison and constant pressure.

Love Yourself first

This February, let self-love be your first commitment. Choose friendships that support you. Choose relationships that respect your pace. Protect the version of yourself you are becoming. Love should expand your life, not shrink it. As flowers, gift packages, and “God when?” move across campus, remember this: love is not social validation. It is clarity, respect, and the freedom to be fully yourself.

Say yes to what aligns with your peace and no to what doesn’t, without guilt, pressure, or explanation. On campus and beyond, that, too, is love.

Author: Ajayi Folasade